I am amazed how many people have come up to me and said they appreciate the honesty of my blog. It boggles my mind to think I would be anything but honest. I am honest to a fault. I struggle with being tactful. I am certainly not one to sugarcoat things. I try very hard to be kind and not come off harsh. To be told that someone appreciates my honesty certainly means a lot.
Philadelphia went well. I had two more biopsies and some blood work done. The doctor was very nice and it was a great day of being with my Homie. Yesterday I had my PET scan so now we are just waiting for the results of everything to come together. The doctor in Philadelphia will call me Tuesday afternoon (10/2) with my results and course of action. With just the initial biopsy and what the Dr. could see at my appointment I have been diagnosed as Stage 1-B. The course of action would be at home topical chemotherapy creams and steroids. The average time until remission is 9 months to a year. That treatment plan relies solely on the cancer not having spread to my lymph nodes or organs which the PET scan will show. During my scan, I was lying there and I had this surreal moment where I finally recognized that this is my life, this is my reality. I am a "cancer patient", I am a statistic, I am "sick". This was my first PET scan, but most likely not my last. It wasn't an emotional moment, it wasn't painful, it wasn't sorrowful, it was surprisingly peaceful. I've moved on from the shock, anger, resentment, and fear and have found some peace with it all.
I have struggled with being tired for years (something we talked about last Monday and seems to come from having cancer) and right now I am whole body exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted. I am struggling with finding a way to tone down my schedule. I am praying God will give me clear direction on what to give up and understanding from the people it affects. Being gone from my house 5 nights a week and being up early 7 days a week is putting a lot of strain on my health and right now something needs to give. Although I am an honest person, I am also a people pleaser. I hate to disappoint anyone or leave anyone in a position to have to fill my shoes when I have already committed to something. Please pray for me as I need to make a decision soon.
Sunday is the day we are supposed to get Christopher, the most adorable black and white kitty I have ever seen. Although Homie and I were shooting for the name "Saber", Fred decided that the runt of the litter deserved a big name, and Christopher is what he chose. It took a bit to get used to but I love the name. I cannot wait for that little fluff to come and neither can Fred. Apparently, he has been using the "Cute kitten" story on the girls at school to get "Awwwws" from them. Man with a baby, boy with a kitten...same story. I love my Fred!
We have currently entered the world of potty training. Everything was going really well the first few days and then Bubs decided it was more fun to save his "toop" for when he was alone in his room. After a few days and some bargaining, he is allowed 2 stickers and an episode "Diego" everytime he "toops" on the potty. I can honestly say, I have never seen this child "toop" so much. I have no shame, I made a deal with a two year old and I will stick with it as long as it means we are a diaper free house.
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