I hate New Years. I hate the resolutions. I hate the staying up to watch a giant ball drop, just to say it's a new day, a new year, new hope, new, new, new. I hate it. Mostly because I buy into every year, and every year I disappoint myself. I make resolutions only to have them broken in a matter of days and then beat myself up for breaking them. So instead of ridiculous resolutions, I am making goals for myself this year. I realize I will not change over night. Or will I? After all, it's a new year and I'm not going to be cranky no matter how little sleep I got, right? Sure, then it's 3am, I have been asleep for 2 and a half hours and hear a blood curdling scream through the monitor. Then it's 7:20 and I have 40 more minutes to sleep and I hear "Mommy, let me show you this awesome lego comic that came with my Lego Star Wars magazine." Now, I haven't had my coffee yet and I hear "Hmmm, I could really go for some eggs right now." Combine the lack of solid sleep, the zero caffiene intake, and the wonderful horomones my Dr. has me on for the next couple of months and I am just a ball of joy aren't I?? RESOLUTION NUMBER 1, BROKEN. Not only is it broken, but it is destroyed before the new year could even start.
So this year, I decided not to make drastic changes over night but small little ones. And because I know you care so much, here they are.
1. I will not throw a fit (throwing covers, forcefully getting out of bed and opening the door and loudly proclaiming "Don't worry, I got it") when the baby wakes me up out of a deep sleep. Instead, I will calmly and quietly do it and if I truly am that exhausted, I will nicely ask the bed warmer next to me to please get him this time. And if I do throw a fit, I will apologize first thing in the morning.
2. I will read more and watch a little less TV. Because really, I don't know you personally Mario Lopez. You're baby is cute but come on, do I need to really know the details of your life? Probably not.
3. I will accept that I am human, I do make mistakes, I can't change yesterday, but can make today better.
4. And lastly, if I want that cookie, I'm going to eat it and not feel guilty.
These may seem juvenile, but they are my goals. They are not unattainable, ridiculous things that I am going to fail at over night. They are a work in progress, because I am a work in progress.
