This one is kind of heavy...

*I'm not starting a debate here and I will not respond to one if it is started. This is my heart and my knowledge and no amount of arguing can change that.*


I feel the greatest destroyer of peace today is “Abortion”, because it is a war against the child… A direct killing of the innocent child, “Murder” by the mother herself… And if we can accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love… And we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts… – Mother Teresa


I was 18 when I got pregnant. Thankfully it didn't happen sooner because Lord knows it could have, years sooner. But it happened. And it happened when I was 18. Literally fresh out of high school. The Dr. who informed me that yes, yes I was indeed going to have a baby, is the same woman who tried to convince me NOT to have that baby. Come to think of it, I don't even know if that woman was a Dr. or just a woman at the clinic. Regardless, she tried with all her might for me to abort the baby. Seriously. I actually left the room before she was finished talking because she was arguing the case that it would be easier just to have the procedure and go on with my life. No one would need to know. No big deal. Well, to me it was and IS a big deal. So big, that this "deal" now weighs in at 46lbs and is almost up to my shoulders. So big, that this "deal" calls me "Mommy" and has a baby brother. So big, that this "deal" has no idea that someone tried to convince me that he wasn't worth anything. Let me tell you, he is worth everything.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was horrible. It was gut wrenching. The words "Yes you are pregnant, but just barely", were a knife into my soul. I couldn't have a baby. I couldn't. I just started my life. I just graduated. I was just taking a year off and going to college. I just started making decent money.  Now, it was all ending. Those were the thoughts going through my head. I know the desperation of finding out you are pregnant when it is the absolute last thing you ever imagined for yourself. It is literally the end of your world.
I remember him calling his friend, as happy as could be, saying "SHE'S PREGNANT!!!!" and falling apart. I sat there sobbing in the front seat of the hunter green Civic. I remember having to tell my parents. We took dinner to their house and I was completely prepared to throw it at them, say "I'm pregnant" and run away as fast as possible. I remember how it really went, how the anger from my mom was devastating and the calmness from my dad was serene. I remember those first few months. The miscarriage of a twin. The finding out IT was a boy. The early labor. I remember it all. I can't remember all these details with my second, but this guy, I remember everything. I remember it all because someone tried to dismiss his life so quickly. To give me the easy out. Let me tell you, not much of his life has been easy for me or his dad. But he is a LIFE and he deserved his life, so we worked at it, and we worked hard, and we are giving him his LIFE.
Now I wonder, how can someone make their living by deciding who is WORTH it?? How can someone claim it isn't a life before a certain time when science PROVES it? He who denies that human life begins with conception does not need to contend with religion, but science. To deny this certainty of biology is not to express a lack of faith, but a lack of basic knowledge of human genetics, something that is even known by the general public.” ~ Ecuadorian Federation of Societies of Gynecology and Obstetrics, April 17, 2008
How can someone so easily dismiss a human being? How do you get that hard and calloused? I have seen the pain abortion has caused the women who have had them. I have hugged them and cried with them. Abortion isn't painless. It kills a baby and it kills part of it's mother. It robs so many, yet is so highly accepted. Simple morality dictates that unless and until someone can prove the unborn human is not alive, we must give it the benefit of the doubt and assume it is (alive). And, thus, it should be entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” – Ronald Reagan 1982




This isn't about religion, this is about life. My son's life. A life that some woman tried to convince me wasn't worth anything. Thankfully, gratefully, I didn't listen.

I haven't written in awhile because I am just plain exhausted and can't think of anything. Honestly. The Bubs has been sick twice now since I wrote last (Roseola and now a bad cold). On the plus side, this is his first real cold since his surgery and his ears are completely fine! YAY! But molars are working their way up and in and that equals a constant waterfall from the nose and mouth along with the need to sneak in a bite of my arm/leg/shoulder/face whenever the opportunity presents itself. This behavior is 100% not tolerable and he knows it so he does it when I'm not looking. Like say, I'm reading a book in a pair of shorts. Or maybe carrying him up the stairs to bed. It's a shame Twilight is done filming they could have used him as one of the vampires (or bampires as Dude used to call them).
Last night, during one of Bubbie's nightly crying matches, the cat joined us in his room. Now, Bubs has only seen this cat about 5 times in his life because she only comes around when the kids (and dog) are in their respective beds asleep. So to have this tiny, furry, noise making thing come in his room was a big deal...especially to a Bubbie who didn't want to go back to sleep. It took some time and a few hundred Bubbie barks (all animals still currently bark), before he succumbed to the tylenol induced sleep that was enveloping his brain. After he was in bed, and it was pushing 12:30am, I started reminiscing of the days when Dude was small. When please was pweeze, thank you was tank too, and I love you was I lo u. It blows my mind how quickly the time went, how overnight mazagines became magazines, Blankie is no longer needed for a solid night sleep, and Sesame Street was replaced with Star Wars. I still remember at 4 years old being asked NOT to kiss him at soccer because people might see him. REALLY? I now have to get a hug and kiss before we turn the corner to school. Although, I truly enjoy Dude and all his intricacies, like saying Thank you to the waitress in Japanese when we went out to dinner, I would really like him to slow down a bit. I miss the sweetness of complete and sheer innocence. So, while Bubbie is keeping me pretty exhausted 80% of the time, I look at Dude and realize how quickly this stage of life goes, and try and relish it.


*Coundown to vacation... T-33 day!!!!