"Back to Life...

...Back to Reality." En Vogue


So, here I sit. Home from an amazing 8 days in Ocean City, New Jersey. My favorite place to be in the entire world. My soul finds peace there, my world is right there. For one straight week, I was away from the looming of Dr. appointments and I had completely forgotten that I was waiting for a phone call from my doctor about the probability of another cancer. You know me, I lay awake at night and think about EVERYTHING. It is what I do. Every night at the beach, I slept. Even though the bed was AWFUL and the 2 year old had the most comfortable one in the house, I still slept. My first thought when I woke up wasn't, "I have cancer and I am waiting to find out if I have another" but rather, "Do I make coffee or send the man to WaWa for it?". (That's right Homie, GO TO WAWA!) That was the complexity that was weighing on my mind first thing in the morning. AND IT WAS HEAVEN! It was only fitting that as I was walking on the boardwalk Thursday morning, completely unaware that it was Thursday and I was waiting for a Dr. to call, my phone rang. When I looked down at the screen I saw who it was and immediately was nervous. Can you blame me? The one phone call I never expected came earlier this summer, now I dreaded seeing another Dr. on the line. He called to tell me how the original test I had came back with high cancer cells and the probability of some major surgery (especially for a 27 year old) was ahead of me like we had discussed. Only, the second test he had done a week earlier showed NO signs of cancer (when he was biopsying he even took two extra painful little samples because he couldn't physically see any cancer) and he was completely and utterly confused. That's ok Pal, be confused! He was always quite confused that Bubbie was carried to 36 weeks, let alone 39 weeks and had to be induced. I do have to go in for extra testing and a bigger (i.e. more painful) biopsy but that's fine. I appreciate the better safe than sorry attitude, but I am pretty sure I am safe. He said it isn't immediate and that I should get things settled down in Philly first.

Fred started 3rd grade at his new school the week before we had vacation. He absolutely loves it and took the liberty of not doing his vacation homework before we left and got stuck with it all last night and this morning. Third grade means 30 minutes of homework a night times four nights missed equals 4.5 Fred hours of homework. It was quite an experience for the both of us and I now give MAJOR props to homeschooling moms. I DO NOT have that gift.

The Bubs and I thoroughly enjoy alone time while Fred is gone during the day. Bubbie enjoys it SO much that he can't seem to break away from me, ever. Homie's one complaint this vacation was "These kids don't leave you alone." I think he wanted some time with me too. What can I say? I'm a fun girl! :) I am grateful for these men and the massive doses of love they give me. I admit, sometimes it is suffocating, and I often would push little arms away and say, "Not right now." But I learned this summer, if someone wants a cuddle, give it. If someone wants a kiss, pucker up. If someone needs a story read, read it. Time is short and eventually these little boys are going to turn into big boys who will turn into great men. They won't want my cuddles or my kisses. So I will take them while I can get them.

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with the original dermatologist to discuss what I am going to go through down in Philadelphia. Quite honestly, I want to cancel the appointment and be surprised. I don't need to hear about needles and tests beforehand. So, like any strong willed person of my nature would do, I got an AMAZINGLY awesome tan at the beach so he is distracted with a lecture on proper sun care and not what is really going on. AHH, the powers of manipulation and passive aggressive behavior. We will ignore the fact that half my tan is already peeling off. :)

This month is going to be quite busy with the restart of Wednesday night activities at church (Homie is doing a men's study, Fred is in the boys program, Bubbie is starting his first Wednesday night club, and I am helping with the youth group girls), doctor's appointments, inventory at Homie's work (can't complain about overtime, he claims he enjoys working 6 days a week....how awful of a wife am I that he WANTS to work that often?! :) ), and just the normal back to school adjusting. So, to end my vacation on a high, I am going to finish this glass of wine I started with this entry, finish cooking dinner, and veg out in front of Netflix. Life is Good.

P.S. If you read this, show some love. Homegirl LOVES feedback!