I call your bluff, Busy Ladies.

"I'm so busy."
"I would love to get together for a cup of coffee, but we are SO.BUSY right now."
"We love you guys, let's get together."



I hate these statements. Absolutely positively despise them. Maybe because I am (as much as I despise the term), a people person. I love people. I love being around people. I love coffee dates. I love wine dates. I love just being around people. Yes, I do certainly have days when I just NEED.TO.ALONE. That's healthy. If you aren't ever ok with being by yourself, well then that's a whole different blog. But to me, those three statements (and statements like them), wound my soul. Maybe one of my love languages is "Time". Maybe I am just a severely co-dependent person. Maybe I was a Labrador retriever in a past life* and just need to be around my "pack". I DON'T KNOW! BUT! I feel as though a huge problem in a woman's life and American families in general is BUSYNESS. Yes, we all have busy seasons. The man and I were just lamenting on when did we become grown-ups and when did our calendar get so full? When did we actually have to start relying on a calendar?! But, we intentionally plan things with friends. Even if it is two months out, we put it in the calendar. My husband's birthday was over a month ago but we are going out with my parents in two weeks for it. Even though it wasn't an immediate celebration, it wasn't forgotten, and it was intentionally planned. In today's busy world, that's what we need to do.
Lately, I have been STRUGGLING with the lack of reciprocation from others. Unfortunately, people who just "love us" don't reciprocate the extension of friendship. Oh sure, if I contact and plan, they are all about it. But where is the reciprocation? When does it become a two way street? That to me is mind boggling. If I can make time and open my home up to you (and in turn, my heart), why doesn't it happen back? I know there are relationships where there becomes the "hang out" house. Yes! PLEASE! My house is always open as the hangout house. But I'm not going beg people to continue to come over because that's how it feels. Invite yourselves. I love hosting. My door is always open. Use it. If we are that good of friends, it shouldn't be a one way street. I'm burned out from trying to play the planner. Friendship is two hands extending towards each other. I'm not Stretch Armstrong. My arm is starting to dislocate from it's socket and it hurts.
Yes, everyone has different views of friendship. Yes, everyone is busy. But I do believe that you make time for those you love. I came across this blog post on Pinterest the other day and it SCREAMED to my soul. I'm clearly not the only one who feels this way.

How To Be A Good Friend

"Again, busy-ness gets in the way of this but I find that a few hours with a friend each week does wonders for my soul. Just this week I went to a birthday dinner for a friend. I was SO tired and had so much to do that I almost backed out. But I went and was uplifted and laughed and was so glad that I took the time to go- and my friend was happy, too!

Being intentional is important here. Busy women aren’t usually going to “accidentally” spend time together. We’ve got to make time on our calendars, reach out to our friends, and make it happen! It used to bother me (and admittedly sometimes still does) that I do the majority of the initiating of seeing my friends, but I know now that it’s probably just because they’re busy that I don’t hear from them, not because they don’t want to see me. (At least I hope! )"

 

 

This woman speaks to my soul. Oh my goodness, deep down to it. I have typed and deleted and typed and deleted because I don't want to offend anyone with my views of friendship. But at the same time, want to wake people up. Spending real time with real friends is what we (especially women) were designed to do. We are RELATIONAL people. We were created by Him that way. I really believe Satan is using our own busyness to distract us from meeting the needs of those closest to us. Being a good friend is being intentional with your time towards your friends. People who are like me, who crave that time, eventually stop making the effort towards people who claim busyness as their armour. And it is PAINFUL for us. I was actually told the other day from someone that they would love to have a cup of coffee with me but they are SO busy they just don't have the time. Well you know what? I call your bluff Busy Ladies. I CALL IT! Get off the phone. Get off of Facebook. Get off of Twitter. Get off of Instagram. Remember when you used to meet for coffee? Remember when dinner was fun with friends? Yeah. NOTHING beats communal face-to-face friendships. Jesus broke bread with his homies, why aren't we? Why are we too busy? What has changed? Are we so busy serving Jesus we forget that Jesus gave us PERFECT examples of friendship in the Bible? 

Ecclesiastes 4: 8-11

There was a man all alone;
    he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
    yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
    “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
    a miserable business!

⁹ Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?

 

 

 

Don't allow your busyness get in the way of what friendship truly is. If you fall down, there will be no one to help you up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*I do not believe I was a dog. It's humor, people.

 





"It really sinks you know,

When I see it in stone." Over You- Miranda Lambert


Two years ago (I think), I wrote a blog about how much I hate New Year's Resolutions because I never stick with them and I am just setting myself up to fail. I make them every year anyway, but I hate them. Well, this year I don't have any resolutions to make 2013 better than 2012 because well, it's not in my control to.

2012 started off pretty ok. We were living our life in Bethlehem in a nice house we were renting. We were healthy, happy, busy, and tired. But we were good. Life was good. We celebrated a 2 year old's birthday in January, an 8 year old's in February. We planned and payed for our family vacation for the coming September. I quit a job I had worked at for years and moved on to a new restaurant. Things were happening, things were changing, life was good.

 In April, we went to a classmate's birthday party for Fred when it dawned on us, Bethlehem was not conducive to the family life we were trying to mold. The man and I went home with a plan, for the next 4 years we were going to save every last dime and buy a house so the Bubs wouldn't start school in the BASD and Fred wouldn't go to middle school. We are so patient, we went home and started looking at houses immediately online. I mentioned on facebook that we were just browsing the MLS when a realtor friend messaged us to get in contact with her immediately. Things happened quickly and exactly one week after deciding we would buy a home in four years, we had put an offer in on a house and the next day, May 6, it was accepted. Divinely orchestrated.

At about the same time our offer was accepted, I knew the new job was not going to work out. There were far too many conflicts of interest between myself and the establishment and I just knew I didn't belong there. After a few weeks of anxiety, I put on my big girl pants and contacted my former boss. Within 20 minutes I had a job waiting for me as soon as I was settled into the new home. Divinely timed.

A few delays in settlement on the other side and we were exactly one week from owning our own home. It was exciting. NOTHING could bring us down, we were almost homeowners, I was going back to my old job, we were moving to a quite, peaceful small town with a great school. Then on July 14th, I got a phone call I wasn't expecting. My grandmother was sick and was being taken to the hospital. Some phone calls later, she seemed stable and so I went into work. Two hours into my shift I was told to come to the hospital immediately to say goodbye. My world came crashing down in that moment. I got to the hospital and saw my last loving grandparent on life support. Just 2 week prior we were out to lunch and she seemed great, and now, I'm saying goodbye. It didn't take long for her to pass but it was excruciating.

July 21st came and we had an amazing group of friends who helped us move from one house to another, and set up the new one, in less than 12 hours. It was incredible. Family came the next day and on July 23rd, my grandfather's birthday, we said goodbye to Gram.

On July 25th I had a dermatology appointment for this rash I have had since being a teenager. Many doctors over the years said it was nothing but during this summer is flared up so badly I was trying every over the counter and homeopathic remedy to get it to go away. Clothing drove me crazy, the heat and humidity burned, showering was excruciating. The Dr. was 99.9% confident it was a form of eczema and prescribed me an ointment to calm the itching, but he had to take a biopsy, just in case. A follow up appointment was made for September and I went on my way. Time went by and not a single thought was given to the fact that I had a biopsy, I have been getting biopsies for other things since I was 19 and they always came back fine so this would too. Exactly 3 weeks later, I was sitting in a meeting for Girl's Quest when my phone rang. It was the Dr. and he was terribly sorry to tell me, but I did not have eczema, I had a form of Cutaneous T-Cell Lymphoma and I needed to see a colleague of his as soon as possible at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.

Thankfully, between my diagnosis and my follow up in Philadelphia, I was back at work with people who cared, Fred started his new school, and we went on the vacation we had scheduled back in January. Divinely orchestrated distractions. Vacation was amazing. Friends came to visit, memories were made, and tan lines were deepened. I was blissfully unaware of reality for 8 straight days. My appointment in Philadelphia came, needles were used, biopsies taken, tests were scheduled. During this time, my GYN called me to tell me we needed to talk when my treatment was started. I ignored him.

At the beginning of October, I started my treatment and life was feeling breathable again. We were settled into our new home and starting to plan for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then, the first week of November I was harassed again by my GYN to let me know I needed to schedule a consultation with him and I could not put it off any longer. It was scheduled for December 6th and put out of my mind.

Thanksgiving was celebrated with family, Christmas shopping was in full swing. The man took me to New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving and it was wonderful. I had the most amazing time and CANNOT wait to go back. It was our first weekend away from the boys that was just for us since Fred was 4. I honestly can't explain how wonderful it was but it certainly was motivation to be alone together for at least one weekend every year. "I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!" :) 

We were reunited with the men and 2 weeks later I had my appointment. The man had to work so I took my mom. We sat in the waiting room thinking up reasons why we were there and ways to fight whatever the Dr. was going to say. An hour later we walked out of the office both stunned at what was said. It had been determined that I needed a hysterectomy and it needed to be done soon. With this knowledge, and feeling somewhat defeated, I had a follow up for my CTCL. I was shocked (and somewhat skeptical) when I was told I could stop treatment because my lesions were gone and there was NO SIGN of cancer anymore. The Dr. was amazed that my body responded so well to treatment. The Man picked me up and swung me around the garage when I got home. We celebrated. Yes, I was facing major surgery in less than 48 hours but in that moment, we were celebrating. Divinely scheduled appointment.

I went into surgery on December 14th after watching the news of the Connecticut elementary school shooting thanking God that my Fred was safe and sound with his grandma. I came home on Saturday and took on the process of healing. And it was a process. Monday morning I went to the Dr for a sinus infection. Tuesday morning I went to the Dr because of an excruciating pain in my neck and head. After testing to rule out meningitis and mono, I was told that my lymphatic system (which helps control the immune system, which is affected because of having T-Cell lymphoma because T-Cells are your immune system), could not handle the stress of the anesthesia and it was in overdrive. I was sent home with muscle relaxers, migraine medicine, prescription strength Motrin,and told to rest and finish my antibiotics. Just as I was starting to feel better, Friday evening I had immense stomach pain, had some bleeding, and started to run a fever. Back to the hospital I went only to find out, there was no real reason why I was sick. My white cell count was great and clearly there was nothing wrong other than I had some stitches prematurely rupture. Back to strict bed rest it was. After a few days of fighting flu-like symptoms it was Christmas morning and I was feeling a little bit alive. I drank my coffee, took my antibiotic, and watched my men open their presents. An hour later, I was covered in hives, my tongue was slightly swollen and my lips were burning. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to sulfa drugs. MERRY CHRISTMAS! The next morning, my phone rang and it was my GYN calling AGAIN (at this point, I didn't ever want to speak to him again). It turns out that I had severe cervical dysplasia (cancer) deep in my tissue from the organs he removed. He informed me that within the next few months it would have been very bad and I just dodged a major bullet. I didn't even know what to say. Who knew a severe prolapse would have saved my life? Divinely orchestrated organs.

It is now December 31, 2012. I am 16 days post-op and 6 days post setback and I feel pretty good for the first time in months. I know that in 24 hours my problems won't be gone. I will still be dealing with the emotions of grief, cancer, and surgery. I will enter 2013 re-starting my chemotherapy cream as my lesion and rash has come back in the past two weeks. I will still have doctor appointments and will still have struggles because this is life. Although I don't understand why we have struggles in our life I know I don't need to. I will continue to cling to He who suffered far more than anyone else I know. I will cling to Him knowing he has felt every feeling and every emotion. He knows what I feel more than anyone and to Him I will rely on. I will draw my strength from Him and I will live knowing He is holding me, even on days when I don't feel it or see it, I will know it. I can pray for healing, a respite from sorrow, a reprieve from day to day struggles, but I can rest knowing, even if the healing doesn't come, the sorrow doesn't heal, the struggles don't disappear, I am being taken care of by the One who has been there and with Him I will walk with in 2013.

"I want to live like that....

And give it all I have." Sidewalk Prophets- Live Like That


With the passing of my last loving grandparent, I have been thinking about the grandparents I had and how amazing they were, specifically my step-grandmother. She was a Proverbs 31 woman through and through. I never remember her complaining, being tired, losing her patience. She was always calm and warm. It's the only way I can describe her, warm. I don't remember her being particularly cuddly or affectionate but she was warm. She always had a smile on her face and peace in her eyes. Growing up, her and my grandfather used to take us camping in their camper to a few different places a year and it gave me some of the best memories I have ever had. As an adult, I look back at those times spent with her and think, how? She was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy when  I was a young child and when I was 10 she passed away. I never remember her complaining about feeling ill or tired. I do remember finding her "special" bra and some of her wigs, a definite way to freak out an 8 year old. "Mom, why are grandma's boobs in her bra when she takes it off?". But never once a complaint. Even on her death bed, when the morphine would wear off and she came out of her drug induced haze, she would cry out in grief over the passing of her daughter. She relived that moment over and over but not once did she have any self-pity or complaint against God. As a teenager and young adult, I was pretty certain that I would never allow my child to see someone they loved in such agony and turmoil. But as a mother of two, and now a "cancer" patient, I realize that had I not seen her in the end stage of her life, I wouldn't have the appreciation for who she was exactly. She was the living definition of grace and love. She was the most godly woman I have ever met and I want to be like her. I don't want to live a life of self-pity or self-indulgence. I want to live a life, that even on my sickest day, points to Him. Two nights in a row the dinner time prayer was "Thank you for giving my wife the energy to cook this fantastic meal." His prayer of thanks, as silly as it sounds, spoke to my soul that maybe, just maybe, I am like Grandma E, and maybe just maybe, I am doing something right. I pray that even though I might be having a rough day, I might being feeling down or just worn down, that His spirit will shine through and that is what people see.

"I get down, He lifts me up."

This week was the week we were all waiting for, the PET scan results. October 2nd came and almost went when I finally got up the nerve to call Philly and find out why they didn't call me. Apparently, there is a doctor with the same name here in the Valley and they sent my results to them. Hmmm, HIPPA laws anyone? Could I possibly be rich (I kid, I kid)? So, October 3rd came and seriously almost went when I got the phone call. Turns out, my lymph nodes are cancer FREE! Can I get an AMEN?! My treatment plan is all set up and now I am just waiting to receive my chemo cream. Apparently, CVS (which I have deemed Can't Value...anyway...), does not and will not carry my medication. After two days of calling to see if my medication was in, because they told me it was being delivered, they informed me, NOPE sorry, not happening, it's too expensive. Clearly, it doesn't matter if my insurance is going to cover the $2,100 a month bill (SERIOUSLY!), they won't stock it. If I can't find someone in the LV to supply it, I will have to order it through U of Penn's pharmacy and take a trip to Philly once a month for my meds. A minor inconvience, seriously. I have no problem making that trip, I could think of a lot more inconvenient scenarios that could have stemmed from this cancer. I just can't stand CVS and haven't been able to tolerate them in years so they will no longer be getting my patronage. Oh, my chemo cream, that costs $2,100 (I say it again just to drive the point home to you), is only covered by 10% of insurance plans. Thank you Lord, for having us fall in the 10%. This week was a week of answered prayers. I fully believe there is yes, no, and not now, but I am singing a song of hallelujah right now for falling in the yes category. I can't be more grateful. Yes, I could focus on the woe, I have CTCL. WAAAAH. Too bad. Things could be a lot worse. Yes, I am going to have some pretty painful sores on my stomach once I get a hold of my cream, but I will be able to carry on my life as usual. Yes, I have chronic fatigue, but that should subside when remission hits. Yes, it does suck that I am 27 and have cancer, not gonna lie, but I WILL go into remission. And if it comes back, we will deal with it then. I will always be aware of it and on the look out for it, yes, that is my reality, but it doesn't consume me, it doesn't define me. I'm not who I was before this and I'm not who I will be but for now, this is me. And if you read this, you are stuck with me for quite some time. :)

"I always had a knack for telling the truth."

I am amazed how many people have come up to me and said they appreciate the honesty of my blog. It boggles my mind to think I would be anything but honest. I am honest to a fault. I struggle with being tactful. I am certainly not one to sugarcoat things. I try very hard to be kind and not come off harsh. To be told that someone appreciates my honesty certainly means a lot.

Philadelphia went well. I had two more biopsies and some blood work done. The doctor was very nice and it was a great day of being with my Homie. Yesterday I had my PET scan so now we are just waiting for the results of everything to come together. The doctor in Philadelphia will call me Tuesday afternoon (10/2) with my results and course of action. With just the initial biopsy and what the Dr. could see at my appointment I have been diagnosed as Stage 1-B. The course of action would be at home topical chemotherapy creams and steroids. The average time until remission is 9 months to a year. That treatment plan relies solely on the cancer not having spread to my lymph nodes or organs which the PET scan will show. During my scan, I was lying there and I had this surreal moment where I finally recognized that this is my life, this is my reality. I am a "cancer patient", I am a statistic, I am "sick". This was my first PET scan, but most likely not my last. It wasn't an emotional moment, it wasn't painful, it wasn't sorrowful, it was surprisingly peaceful. I've moved on from the shock, anger, resentment, and fear and have found some peace with it all.

I have struggled with being tired for years (something we talked about last Monday and seems to come from having cancer) and right now I am whole body exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted. I am struggling with finding a way to tone down my schedule. I am praying God will give me clear direction on what to give up and understanding from the people it affects. Being gone from my house 5 nights a week and being up early 7 days a week is putting a lot of strain on my health and right now something needs to give. Although I am an honest person, I am also a people pleaser. I hate to disappoint anyone or leave anyone in a position to have to fill my shoes when I have already committed to something. Please pray for me as I need to make a decision soon.

Sunday is the day we are supposed to get Christopher, the most adorable black and white kitty I have ever seen. Although Homie and I were shooting for the name "Saber", Fred decided that the runt of the litter deserved a big name, and Christopher is what he chose. It took a bit to get used to but I love the name. I cannot wait for that little fluff to come and neither can Fred. Apparently, he has been using the "Cute kitten" story on the girls at school to get "Awwwws" from them. Man with a baby, boy with a kitten...same story. I love my Fred!

We have currently entered the world of potty training. Everything was going really well the first few days and then Bubs decided it was more fun to save his "toop" for when he was alone in his room. After a few days and some bargaining, he is allowed 2 stickers and an episode "Diego" everytime he "toops" on the potty. I can honestly say, I have never seen this child "toop" so much. I have no shame, I made a deal with a two year old and I will stick with it as long as it means we are a diaper free house.

"Take my hand....

...knot your fingers through mine, and we'll walk from this dark room for the last time." Snow Patrol- Open Your Eyes


Transparent:  free from pretense or deceit;
                         easily detected or seen through;
                         readily understood

This blog is meant to to be a release to me, I enjoy writing and getting my story out of me. It is therapeutic. "If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, Threatening the life it belongs to And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to" (Anna Nalick, 2 AM).  My entire life I've always fought the need to be transparent. To be readily understood, easily seen through, free from pretense and deceit. This is a way to get my story out, my way. After all, it is MY story with a few key characters. I appreciate those of you who are reading and following along through my journey of this life. Thank you.

 

She got the call today

One out of the gray

And when the smoke cleared

It took her breath away
She said she didn't believe

It could happen to me

 I guess, we're all one phone call

 From our knees

We're gonna get there soon
If every building falls

And all the stars fade

We'll still be singing this song

The one they can't take away
I'm gonna get there soon

She's gonna be there too

Crying in her room

Praying, Lord, come through

Mat Kearney "Closer to Love"

 

Today is not a good day. My heart aches and I'm just sad. I'm not in the mood to joke about it. I don't want to hear "Your faith will get you through." I'm feeling a bit broken. I'm 27, I have a husband, 2 little men, and my body has turned against me. My body that I hated and abused for years officially turned against me. I never thought it could happen to me. I had an appointment on Monday and the Dr. showed me off to a few others as a learning experience. I felt like I should have charged admission. Today I can't get passed the word "cancer". I can't get passed the fact that my body is infected. I can't get passed the what-ifs. I can't get passed the blood work two years ago that showed elevated white blood cells but was told it was nothing. It was something. I can't look at the fact that what I have is slow moving. I can't look at the fact of remission or stable disease. I just cannot see it today. I see cancer. I see anger. I see incurable. I just want all of my questions answered and I want to start my treatment and get on with my life. I go to Philadelphia on Monday for the beginning of my tests to stage me. All I know is I am getting "biopsies, blood work, and other testing." I don't know what to expect. I'm angry that this is taking so long. I'm angry that the waiting list is usually 4 months to get into Philly and I got my appointment in 5 weeks from my diagnosis. I'm angry that they felt compelled to push to get me in. Grateful, yet angry. The sooner doctors see you, the more urgent they think it is. I am just ANGRY. I can't explain it other than that. I am angry that it is my body they had to show off to a parade of medical staff. I am angry that they diagnose you and then make you do all the phone calls and paper work. I am angry that I have to rely on other people to take care of my children so I can go to appointments. I am angry that I have to comfort other people. I am angry that other people have made this about them and their life. I am grateful for the medical team who is and will be working to get me better. I am grateful that I have people who love me enough to take care of my family when I can't. I am grateful I have people in my life who love me enough to be affected by this. I am just angry it happened. I have always struggled with compassion and sympathy but now I have been given the gift of empathy. Grateful I have that gift now, but I am angry how I had to get it.

 

4 days and a wake up... 

 

"Back to Life...

...Back to Reality." En Vogue


So, here I sit. Home from an amazing 8 days in Ocean City, New Jersey. My favorite place to be in the entire world. My soul finds peace there, my world is right there. For one straight week, I was away from the looming of Dr. appointments and I had completely forgotten that I was waiting for a phone call from my doctor about the probability of another cancer. You know me, I lay awake at night and think about EVERYTHING. It is what I do. Every night at the beach, I slept. Even though the bed was AWFUL and the 2 year old had the most comfortable one in the house, I still slept. My first thought when I woke up wasn't, "I have cancer and I am waiting to find out if I have another" but rather, "Do I make coffee or send the man to WaWa for it?". (That's right Homie, GO TO WAWA!) That was the complexity that was weighing on my mind first thing in the morning. AND IT WAS HEAVEN! It was only fitting that as I was walking on the boardwalk Thursday morning, completely unaware that it was Thursday and I was waiting for a Dr. to call, my phone rang. When I looked down at the screen I saw who it was and immediately was nervous. Can you blame me? The one phone call I never expected came earlier this summer, now I dreaded seeing another Dr. on the line. He called to tell me how the original test I had came back with high cancer cells and the probability of some major surgery (especially for a 27 year old) was ahead of me like we had discussed. Only, the second test he had done a week earlier showed NO signs of cancer (when he was biopsying he even took two extra painful little samples because he couldn't physically see any cancer) and he was completely and utterly confused. That's ok Pal, be confused! He was always quite confused that Bubbie was carried to 36 weeks, let alone 39 weeks and had to be induced. I do have to go in for extra testing and a bigger (i.e. more painful) biopsy but that's fine. I appreciate the better safe than sorry attitude, but I am pretty sure I am safe. He said it isn't immediate and that I should get things settled down in Philly first.

Fred started 3rd grade at his new school the week before we had vacation. He absolutely loves it and took the liberty of not doing his vacation homework before we left and got stuck with it all last night and this morning. Third grade means 30 minutes of homework a night times four nights missed equals 4.5 Fred hours of homework. It was quite an experience for the both of us and I now give MAJOR props to homeschooling moms. I DO NOT have that gift.

The Bubs and I thoroughly enjoy alone time while Fred is gone during the day. Bubbie enjoys it SO much that he can't seem to break away from me, ever. Homie's one complaint this vacation was "These kids don't leave you alone." I think he wanted some time with me too. What can I say? I'm a fun girl! :) I am grateful for these men and the massive doses of love they give me. I admit, sometimes it is suffocating, and I often would push little arms away and say, "Not right now." But I learned this summer, if someone wants a cuddle, give it. If someone wants a kiss, pucker up. If someone needs a story read, read it. Time is short and eventually these little boys are going to turn into big boys who will turn into great men. They won't want my cuddles or my kisses. So I will take them while I can get them.

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with the original dermatologist to discuss what I am going to go through down in Philadelphia. Quite honestly, I want to cancel the appointment and be surprised. I don't need to hear about needles and tests beforehand. So, like any strong willed person of my nature would do, I got an AMAZINGLY awesome tan at the beach so he is distracted with a lecture on proper sun care and not what is really going on. AHH, the powers of manipulation and passive aggressive behavior. We will ignore the fact that half my tan is already peeling off. :)

This month is going to be quite busy with the restart of Wednesday night activities at church (Homie is doing a men's study, Fred is in the boys program, Bubbie is starting his first Wednesday night club, and I am helping with the youth group girls), doctor's appointments, inventory at Homie's work (can't complain about overtime, he claims he enjoys working 6 days a week....how awful of a wife am I that he WANTS to work that often?! :) ), and just the normal back to school adjusting. So, to end my vacation on a high, I am going to finish this glass of wine I started with this entry, finish cooking dinner, and veg out in front of Netflix. Life is Good.

P.S. If you read this, show some love. Homegirl LOVES feedback!